Marie Kondo Method – yoga and friendships
Tending and Ending Friendships
Have you noticed that friendships evolve over the years? We talk a lot about how to tend or how to end a romantic relationship – but not so much about friendships. Perhaps it’s because I’m an only child, but my friendships are very important to me. I nurture them and they give me great joy. What do the Marie Kondo method, yoga and friendships have in common?
My husband’s family have a habit of giving speeches on special occasions. At my Fiftieth birthday party, he gave a speech on the theme that I have a genius for friendship. I would like to think I do, and certainly we should all value our friendships. Yet it doesn’t necessarily mean that all our friendships have value.
Does the Marie Kondo Method relate to friendships? I’ve been seeing articles on that, which has made me think about how my friendships – and my view of what friendship means – has evolved.
Yoga will change your friendships
We have different chapters in our life and and what is important to us will change. That means your friendships will ebb and flow. We all hope to have some super friends for life. But as we move through new chapters, our focus will change and we’ll look to different things from our friends.
Perhaps good company and being up for some fun in friendship has given way to valuing loyalty and generosity in the friendship. Time changes what we hold dear in friendship.
Find Your Supportive Community – Marie Kondo, your friends and yoga
There’s a Buddhist concept of Sangha – that’s your supportive community. It means you surround yourself with people who will be there for you.
Your sangha should of course ‘spark joy’ and have your back – but it should also stretch you and help you out of your comfort zone, encouraging you to be your best self. This is where yoga comes in. As you practice yoga you connect more with who you are.
Three friends and I have a birthday club! I’ve known these people for years – two of them for over twenty years. We get together for lunch four times a year on a weekend near each other’s birthday to celebrate.
As you’d expect, we’ve been through a lot together and we know each others strengths and foibles. I’m the one who can be particular and rock the boat. I’m not rude or incredibly demanding, but I’ll ask if we can have a different table or mention that my chili is luke warm and would I be able to have another bowl steaming from the pot.
Recently I’ve been thinking more about this. I was a very easygoing child, and somewhere along the way I became a bit more rigid.
I could do with more relaxing. In fact, I haven’t so much been thinking about it as yoga has been evening that out a bit more. It’s one of the profound changes yoga is bringing to my life. I talk more about that in an earlier blog I wrote.
Yoga isn’t making me fully into a ‘go with the flow person’, but it’s helping me to understand where I want to put that energy. I mentioned this recently at one of our birthday lunches and got a round of applause. These friends kindly rib me about my foibles but also support me as I try to grow.
At the same time, food is important to me and being able to increase my enjoyment of a meal out gives me great joy. I still want see if my delicious bowl of chili can be nice and hot – that would really enhance my enjoyment. Yoga is giving me the ability to work through things and zone into my true self.
Finding Joy in Your Friendships
Yoga helps us understand what it important to us – and important in our friendships. It also helps us navigate change so we can have harmonious friendships that we enjoy.